The patient in wad 3 lay comatose over the blue sheet of a gurney. I flung open the door and left it swinging behind me. Nothing was up in my mind, not even the recent event that had rather seemingly change the tale of my life, yet only relentless emotions were piling up in every piece of me. I couldn’t have a glance at my future for a moment. It was bleak, nothing to kindle a spark of light, as if the first glare of the morning Mount Sinai sun couldn’t reach the earth through any of the crevices of two rocks that somewhat overlapped one another.
My eyes were pinned to the face of the woman lying still in front of me. If only she could feel my presence brushing her not-really supple skin of her arm. At least, If only the wind could send my love to her. Profanities threatened to make themselves heard, but because of the immense frustration, tears began welling up in my glassy eyes.
****
‘Krismiss time!’ mom signaled her one and only lifelong companion at the top of her tender voice that breakfast was ready. Nevertheless, I pretended like I didn’t hear her call and continued playing toys in my own wonderland. Unless I eat, mom will eat.
‘Mom, where’s dad? Dad has gone out of town for a business trip.’ I knew that was a lie for that matter. Dad left home when I was younger. Mom would purse her lips with a nicely carved ostensible smile on her face, and a sense of tense would overwhelm us, whenever I asked her about dad. Yet, she constantly spoke highly of his virtues and bragged about his Brad Pitt-like appearance and as always, reminding me not to stop loving him as how I love her despite what he had done.
Life was difficult as if it wasn’t before, but now mom had to work alone. Sadly, the burden of making ends meet lied upon her solely. Nevertheless, neither did she sigh nor lament on life circumstance. Never mind what the odds seemed like, she handled it calmly, day in day out, hour after hour and second by second, she struggled; raising up her asset in the most delicate of manner and ever aspiring to bear a doctor out of her own seed.
Expenses in medical school were demanding. ‘I’m quitting medical school, for God sake. Where on earth are you gonna dig for money when you yourself have nothing but only a dull, worn out and a meagerly patched turquoise dress to clad on?’, I fumed unreasonably to the old lady who was knitting her torn headscarf silently. Mom didn’t respond and she wasn’t resented either. She had three jobs now. Before, she sold samosas every morning but now she was a gardener by afternoon and not to mention a mom by night. By and large, mother and housewives are the only workers who do not have time off. They are the great vacation-less class.
Mom wanted everything to be perfect for me. She never allowed me into any life decisions, which couldn’t guarantee me any future. In fact, at the ripe old age of 27, a point in life when I had the urged to commit a whole lot of share of love to a soul called-woman- who is much accustomed to the terms compassion, gentle, and beauty and anything akin to it; yet she insisted on looking one for me.
It was A big no no for me. Mom knew nothing regarding my type. She was the old, hackneyed, stereotypical religious type of woman. Occasionally we had skirmishes and our disagreements would escalate which kept us on not speaking terms for two or three days. Eventually she gave up on my persistence in walking down the aisle with the person of my choice; however I realized it was without her blessings and prayers.
Alas, our relationship didn’t work perfectly well. Not until she walked out of our three years marriage, which was built purely on not more than lust, desire and voracious passion for sex.
Indeed if a woman is sought after her wealth, family status, and beauty, none of these will avail you but being a loser; and the otherwise if she is sought after her religion. And I understood that the essence of beauty is piety which is not skin deep yet what lies in within.
****
‘Beep. Beep. Beep.’ Mom’s heart rate on the ECG machine began to falter. I walked up closed to her. As I tucked the lines of hair behind her left ear, I planted a final kiss-a kiss of thousand words, thousand memories and infinite love-on her pale wrinkled haggard cheek before whispering in her ear ‘Sorry..and thanks for everything.’, tears rolled down my cheeks.
I heard the blubbering of a child who dropped his Krismiss biscuits from a corner. ‘Don’t be sad honey, smile, we will get new one.’ a woman in her late 20’s replied.
‘Krismiss!’. I SMILED ‘Semanis Krismiss’.
Prophet Muhammad(peace be upon him) said ‘Charity is prescribed for each descendant of Adam every day the sun rises." He was then asked: "From what do we give charity every day?" The Prophet answered: "The doors of goodness are many...enjoining good, forbidding evil, removing harm from the road, listening to the deaf, leading the blind, guiding one to the object of his need, hurrying with the strength of one's legs to one in sorrow who is asking for help, and supporting the feeble with the strength of one's arms--all of these are charity prescribed for you." He also said: "Your smile for your brother is charity." - Fiqh-us-Sunnah, Volume 3, Number 98
Penulis : Senyuman Semanis Krismis
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